How do you find happiness?
~Ashley Berges
Comparison kills happiness and personal joy.
Comparing yourself to others can leave you feeling depressed, lesser than, or better than others. The human condition is saddled between the desire to be unique and the yearning to fit in. Social media has raised the comparison trend because we’re constantly comparing our lives to the lives of our friends and acquaintances.
Recently have you found yourself comparing your car, house, job, and outward appearance to other people? It’s an unending cycle of discontent and emptiness. When it comes to our house, we compare it by size, price, and neighborhood. Comparing cars is a tricky situation because some are sports cars, others sedans, and others are just plain out of this world. Job comparison is something we find ourselves doing when we get a big raise or need a big raise. Usually, the comparison is about hours worked and the money made, as well as respect and power within your community.
Men and women compare their looks or outward appearance to others of the same sex. You feel better or worse after comparing yourself but what does it truly provide you? It’s like watching Jerry Springer and saying, “I’m better than these trashy people.” Who cares if you’re better than the people who come on Jerry Springer? The key is simple, it’s not about being better than your acquaintances, friends, or the people on Jerry Springer, and it’s about you and you alone.
6 Reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others today:
- Comparing apples and oranges. You’re not using the scientific method; your comparison is skewed and you’re comparing things which cannot be compared.
- Fair comparison, not. You’re usually comparing yourself on your worst day and others on their best day. You don’t realize you’re doing just that and you become even more depressed and upset.
- When comparing two vehicles, you use the make, model, and mileage, but is it still fair? Comparing cars is something we do when we’re buying a car but the comparison is usually not exactly correct. The interior may be different, different wheels, tires, the treatment of the vehicle from previous owner different, and many more miscellaneous factors we don’t even factor in when comparing.
- You don’t have all the information. When you compare your life to another’s life, you’re always missing information. You see what you’re shown but not much else. In order to have all the information you would have to be them but you’re you.
- In order to compare, you must make assumptions. This point is hyper-stressed because you don’t know their life, you only have a finite amount of knowledge to work with, and you have to fill in the blanks from your own knowledge and perspective and that’s nonsense.
- It’s smoke and mirrors. Not always is what you see what you get. When you begin to understand this principle, you begin to understand the grass is not greener.
Comparison is the thief of joy
When you stop comparing yourself to others you free yourself and free your life. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparison steals your joy and happiness and keeps you in a constant need to compete with others on a game with no rules and no constants. Realizing it’s not about them is the first step to finding your happiness and understanding just how wonderful you have it!
For more information on social comparisons on social media and how it leads to unhappiness: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/better-living-technology/201309/everybody-s-life-is-better-mine-facebook